Why It’s OK To Say No: Taking Back Your Power

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We keep saying yes to people in our life because we don’t wanna make them angry, mad, disappointed, sad or fear they won’t talk to us again.

So what if we say no to something we don’t want to do?

What’s the worst thing that can happen? Nothing. You have nothing to lose.

We are not here to serve people and satisfy them. When you say no, you gain power and self-control. Listen to your own instinct, before saying yes to someone’s suggestion.
Listen to people's suggestion:
Does it feel like the right thing to do?
Does it feel wrong to do it?
Is it a life-changing opportunity that will change your life for the better or worse?
Is it rational and logical to do it?

Ask yourself these questions. You know the answer better. Just listen to your inner voice more clearly.

If people around you abandoned you from their life, simply because you have said no, then they aren’t your true, devoted friends. Loyal people will accept your choice and never pressure you to do anything you’re uneasy with. They won't force you and will give you plenty of space to be yourself. They will respect your choices. Just know it's not the same as a friend who challenges you to improve yourself by trying something new.

People who get mad at you for saying no, are egotistical, shallow, close-minded people who don't respect anyone's choices, but theirs. Therefore they don't respect you when you show them you're strong enough to say no. They want power. They will ask you why and continue to convince you to do it. That will make them a snake. Don't fall for that trap.

An authentic friend will respect your choice without getting mad. They understand that you have a life beside being with them. That's when you know they love you. Love is respect.

Be around people who are willing to compromise and reciprocate with you.

We feel more miserable when we please people and say yes. We feel like we aren't being heard and how we feel doesn't matter. That made them feel better by saying yes is what matters to us.

No, your feelings and emotions matter sometimes. They need to be heard too. If you say yes to satisfy them, they will take advantage of you consistently. If you say no for something you don't wanna do, they'll respect you for thinking for yourself. Because you've shown them, that you are not easily influenced and can make decisions for yourself.

Never, ever do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Never, ever feel guilty for saying no. It's okay to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

However, there is no reason to be harsh when saying no at the beginning. Just be bold and firm when you say no. Don't be too apologetic about it. Don't be too harsh about it. Don't be too defensive about it. Just be natural. Be yourself, when you say you can't go to the event, meeting, party, etc. You don't have a reason to give them an explanation. You owe them nothing.

If you continue to satisfy people to make them happy and become too much of an agreeable person, you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life. You'll have unauthentic friends around you, who'll make you feel more lonely.

If you feel like you need more time to think about the suggestion or decision, tell them you need time to think about it. It will give you plenty of time to think about it instead of saying no right at the moment. You can reflect and sleep on it.

If you truly feel too much pressure in your current life, then take a step back, listen to your body and spend the day for yourself, to relax and have some me-time. If you feel like spending the day with your family/friends then quit your schedule for the day to spend time with your loved ones. It's very important to spend time with your loved ones because you never know when they will die.

We have too much of a grueling schedule, saying yes to every decision and opportunity, that we forget about our loved ones. One day they will day, and we regret not canceling the schedule of the day to spend time with our loved ones and for ourselves.

Learn to say no, and you'll give the best love to your own body, mind, and health it deserves.

1 comment

  1. I need to learn to say no when it comes to some family members.