I Miss Not Having A Sister

Photo by Alex Sorto on Unsplash

It's midnight in my time and I have been sick with flu for a few days now, yet I can't understand how I'm still able to post once per day while being sick. As I have been laying in bed for a few days I had the idea to write about how I miss having a sister. It's something that has been on my mind for most of my life. It's not a thought that is haunting me all the time. It's just a thought that pops up once in a while.

I’m grateful to not be a single child. That would be boring and lonely. At least for me. For some other people, they don't mind being a single child. They don't even mind not having a sibling of the opposite sex.

But that's not really the case in this topic.

I miss having a sister because I'm the only female in my sibling group. I miss having a sister who's of the same age group as me. She would be more sensitive to my pain and sadness because she is in tune with her emotions because she is a female who is in touch with her femininity.

There are times I would see two sisters going out in the city for a cup of coffee and I can’t help but envy them. I'm happy for them, but I wish I had a sister of my own. She looks similar to me as if we were twins. She would be the sister I can talk girly things with. I can't really have a girly conversation with the guys in my sibling group. They can't relate to me being a girl.

I miss having a sister who I can talk about how painful menstrual makes you feel. The heartbreak because of a boy. Talking about what's your recent favorite perfume. Going out for a girl night. Watching a girl movie together with popcorn and sodas. Taking pictures together. Talking about our emotions, because girls are better at openly expressing their emotions whereas boys usually keep their emotions to themselves.

I miss conversations where you can talk about your body insecurities with your sister.
I miss having a sister who can braid my hair when I can't. Someone who I can borrow her clothes, shoes or make-up for just one day. Someone who is better at using makeup and can apply makeup on me if I have a date to go. Someone who can help you find the best clothes for you. Someone who comforts me when I'm having a heartbreak.

Maybe that’s why I grew up being a tomboy. I had to find my own femininity without having any close, relative female telling me how to be a feminine woman.

I had to learn that myself and I are still learning it even though someone close to me said “You’re already feminine. I can see and hear that.”

Maybe it’s just me doubting myself sometimes. I have to do girly things on my own most of the time. I am used to it, but I just miss having a close female company. A blood-related sister who's closer to you than your other female friends.

“A woman without her sister is like a bird without wings.”
- Unknown.

Female friends come and go in my life. They can betray and hurt you. They would suddenly leave because life has become too busy for them to hang out with you.
Sure I’ve had an easier time making female friends but not where we are best friends who talk every day and knows each other's deepest secrets. Luckily I have one friend who's not my blood-related sister.
Yet it's not the same as having a sister through thick blood.

You grew up together in the same environment for many years. You grew up together. You have seen your ups and downs multiple times. You have many memories together. You experienced a lot of things together - whether bad or good.

I would be able to offer her sisterly love and she would be able to offer me a sisterly love. Without a sister feels like a huge void in my life. I wouldn't care if she was my big or little sister, as long as I had a sister.

I get it. It can be a love/hate relationship. It won't be rainbows and colors all the time by having a sister. You will get into arguments and fights. The usual sibling fight as long it doesn't go over the limit and becomes an unhealthy, toxic, abusive relationship. That's a no go.

You'll disagree with each other and starts to agree to disagree. You'll be on each other's nerves. You hate each other one day and on good terms the next day. You'll become mad when she steals your last pizza slice. You'll find her irksome at times, but at the end of the day, you'll get along for most of the time and still stays with each other through thick blood. The older both of you get, the better your relationship becomes, because of understanding and compromise.

Any woman should feel cherished and grateful to have a sister in their life. A woman who has a sister is like having a twin that you can’t survive without. You feel whole together. You have a sister who understands you and what's it like to be a woman.
You have another feminine energy being empowering another feminine energy being as soul sisters.

A brother doesn’t know what's it like to be a woman. Only a sister.

You are best friends through thick blood.

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