Dear Disease, You Can Go Straight To Hell

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

In one of my recent articles, I’m talking about how having a negative mindset as part of your lifestyle can lead to diseases.

You can read more about it here:
Having A Negative Mindset Is Also An Disease

Just because I say a negative mindset in life can sometimes lead you to diseases, doesn’t mean I get emotionally affected when I see people with diseases. I see a healthy 4-year-old child being diagnosed with cancer out of the blue. A happy, healthy 17-year-old person suddenly got a stroke out of the blue. Diseases get into your body suddenly and unexpectedly. My mother recently got a stroke in the brain. A huge blood clot in the brain. I knew something bad would happen to my parents who live an unhealthy lifestyle and no matter how much I try to help them lead a healthier lifestyle, they won’t listen. You’ve probably been in a similar situation.

Not taking your health seriously can be risky for your life. It can have consequences if you don’t notice the early signs and you have an unhealthy lifestyle.

Writing this boils me inside. I’m angry and sad. Yet it helps me to write this story and reflection down. It’s a way to release what I’m feeling inside. I’m angry at the injustice that my mother has to go through. I’m angry she didn’t take her health seriously. I’m angry she rejected going to the doctor before the incident due to saying weird things a few days before the incident. What freaks me out is my father was in a panic a few days before the incident. He thought she was going to die. I think he was trying to tell that he felt something wasn’t right.

Even though she didn’t take her health seriously, I’m still mad at the diseases. Life suddenly becomes uncomfortable and unsafe. Life seems meaningless suddenly. It’s hard for you to watch a sweet, family movie after visiting your sick mother in the hospital. It’s hard to go back to daily life. It’s hard to have fun because you feel guilty. But you have to, in order to heal from the trauma. You have to think about yourself as the therapist would say. You don’t know what to do with yourself. Your whole family is in shock. Seeing my mother in a hospital bed was devastating, but I’m not showing it outside. I keep it inside and stay strong. But I’m just mad at the diseases. Life is not unfair. I even fear the day it will be my father’s turn. They’re both in their 60's.

I can’t imagine what went through her head when the incident happened. She must have been scared to death. I feared for the worst. I was shocked yet I knew that day will come because of their unhealthy lifestyle. I thought it would happen to my father first instead of my mother. This whole sad situation in my life lately makes me think about how life can be unpredictable. You can have a normal day and the next day a disease hits you like thunder. You never knew it would hit you. You would never expect to see the shock.

Diseases suck. They just plan sucks. I’ll never befriend diseases and no one likes diseases or wants to befriend diseases. You hate diseases because they have the capacity to hurt your loved ones. Someone you’re very close to. Only time can show how much your loved one can recover. Some recover quickly which is a relieving miracle. Some recover very slowly… or don’t recover at all, which is the worst nightmare for someone.

It’s days like these where I’m just thinking to myself; “Why?” because I hate when an incident like these happens. Especially when it’s someone you know. I’m not affected when I see a stranger who had an incident and got a disease. Yes, it sucks, but when it’s someone you know, it’s a different story. It’s normal for you to see sick people in bed online or in real life, but when it’s someone you KNOW, then it’s an unexplainable feeling. You feel dissociated and weird in your body. It hurts you emotionally to see someone you know in pain.

Not only does it hurt you emotionally to see your loved one in pain. It also hurts you because they (sometimes) won’t be the same person again. They went from being a happy soul to a sick person with mood swings and little independence. They can go from being a negative person to ten times more negative. Your whole life has changed because of their disease. Nothing will be the same again. I don’t know why it hit my loved ones. I don’t know why it hit someone close to me. Nothing makes sense. It makes life look gray and hopeless. Everything suddenly becomes meaningless and you have no choice but to be strong. Be strong to the sick family member. Be strong when everyone in the family is fragile and broken from the incident. Someone has to show their strength during difficult times and I’m one of them who shows my calmness when my mind is running like a tornado at the moment.

Diseases are like bad spirits entering your body to torture your body and soul if I have to speak religiously.

I wish no diseases on anybody, not even my worst enemy. In fact, I find diseases worse than my worst enemy. I feel paralyzed because I don’t know what to do. A young, healthy woman like me feels emotionally sick coming to the hospital in a room full of sick people. The hospital is not part of my world. For nurses and doctors, it’s normal for them. It’s part of their daily life and job. They’re professional. For me who barely visits a hospital, it feels weird to be around sick people who are waiting for their death date. It reminds me that one day it will be my turn. I’m always trying to avoid diseases and hospitals because it only reminds me of bad stuff. I’ve all my life tried to only look at the bright side of life that makes me happy. When an incident like this comes, you have no choice but to face it.

You feel hopeless and you have no choice but to pray. Pray for a miracle. Pray for your loved one to become normal again. Pray for your loved one to be healthy again.

Diseases are the worst. The disease can go the hell away from my life. I don’t know what’s worse than disease except for the death of your loved one.

To the disease, you can go straight to hell for hurting my loved ones.

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